A Matter of Choice
by tinypinkmouse
Summary: He had to try, right? Female!Revan/Carth


_This is one of those "stuff I found in an old notebook" things. I have no idea if anyone wants to read it, but I'm posting it anyway._

I don't really remember why I wrote this particular ficlet, but I'd guess it's my take on how I might have wanted the game to end.

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"Leave," Revan ordered her new apprentice. As they were left alone Carth tried to find some trace of the woman he loved in the Dark Side bleached eyes. The frightening thing was that he could see it. Could see what he hadn't earlier, that she'd been Revan all along, even without her memories.

"Somehow I'm not surprised you found your way here."

"The Republic troops found me and…"

"Left you here to die?" She interrupted him. The casual curiosity and amusement in her voice sent a cold shiver through him. He could have dealt with anger, even hate, but this… this indifference was so much worse. It was like he'd never really mattered at all.

"I had to try to…" he trailed off, he didn't need to finish anyway; they both knew why he was there.

"I'm sorry Carth," her voice was still as cold as her unnaturally bleached eyes. "I really didn't want it to come to this between us."

"Revan, this…" and then he stopped, because what was he supposed to say? That this wasn't her? That it wasn't too late to turn back? He'd said all of that already and maybe… maybe he'd been wrong.

"You've finally admitted it. That I'm Revan."

He hadn't even realised what he'd called her, but she was right. Again.

"So you realise that what you're trying to do is useless."

"I… I can't believe that."

She laughed then, cold and hard.

"You could join me," she finally told him. "You'd be the Admiral of my fleet. It would be only fitting since you killed the last one."

She stepped closer to him, ran one hand over his chest and then leaned in to kiss him. He couldn't help himself, he wrapped his arms around her with desperate force and answered the kiss. Tears were running down his cheeks when he made himself pull back.

"You're going to kill me if I don't, aren't you?"

Then her hands were suddenly there, wiping away the tears. Light, gentle, comforting and stirring up feelings he shouldn't have for the Sith Lord.

Her eyes were still blank.

"I… I promised to protect you," he told her, his voice wavering as she continued to touch him… seduce him. "Even from yourself. I can't do that… can't protect you if I'm not with you." His voice grew steadier as he made his choice. "I won't turn Revan, but if you'll have me, I'll stay."

Her hands stilled and for a moment her eyes seemed to thaw.

"You're a stubborn man Carth Onasi. You'll stay and try to turn me back to the Light, right?" She was back to that cold indifference again, but that small moment had given him hope. "But yes, I'll have you. And we'll see how'll be the one to turn." The dark joy she seemed to find in the prospect was chilling.

"You really do love me, don't you Carth?"

"I… yes. Yes, I do." There really was no point in denying it now. "Even now I still love you."

She smiled coldly at him. "I doubt it will help you in any way, but I love you too."

At that moment he really didn't know whether he should laugh or cry.

"Come Admiral, we have a battle to win."

* * *

Bastila's eyes went from her now robed and masked Master (where had she suddenly found her old apparel?) to the man walking half a step behind her wearing a Sith uniform, an admiral's uniform at that.

"Carth… how…?"

"Bastila. You didn't expect to see me?" He inquired darkly.

"Master are you…"

She didn't have the time to finish her question before she was suddenly thrown to the floor by the Force.

"Just because we share a bond apprentice, do not presume to question me or think that you know me."

"I apologise Master."

"Contact Admiral Dodonna, will you Bastila?" Carth said in a tone that suggested it wasn't much of a question.

Her Master nodded her approval of the order and Bastila hurried to comply. Whatever she thought about Carth Onasi's turn to the Dark Side, she knew she didn't like the position it seemed to put him in. She was the apprentice to the Dark Lord of the Sith and one day, if she was strong enough she would challenge her Master for that title. No one except her Master gave her orders!

And apparently also Admiral Carth Onasi.

* * *

"Admiral Dodonna, the Sith are hailing us."

For a moment the Admiral looked like she was about to ignore it. She looked over at Master Vandar who looked just about as resigned as she felt. It was too late to retreat and they had already lost. She knew the Sith were not likely to show them mercy, but at this point she couldn't ignore the slight chance that she was wrong.

"Alright, let's see what they have to say," she said and turned to look at the small holographic figures that flickered to life just moments after her words.

She could feel her jaw drop at the sight before her.

"Admiral Dodonna, it's good to see you're still with us," the image of Carth Onasi told her.

Another tiny image appeared next to Carth, instantly recognisable by the bloodstone mask and the voluminous robes.

"I've been given the honour of announcing the return of Darth Revan to her rightful place as the Lord of the Sith," Carth's voice said calmly as the little blue image flickered slightly.


End file.
